What one NEEDS to do
by JokersJustice
Summary: After having an anxiety attack during a mission Wally is visited by J'onn who confesses that he is concerned. Wally explains that old scars were brought to light when his aunt called and informed him that his mother was in the hospital.


Disclaimer: I do not own Wally West or Martian Manhunter.

Authors Note: I haven't written in ages so I decided that I needed to work my fingers a bit. This is what happened.

"A person's success in life can usually be measured by the number of uncomfortable conversations he or she is willing to have." -Timothy Ferris

What one NEEDS to do

The room was silent, but the little noises seemed magnified exponentially to the twitchy figure sitting on the sofa. The lopsided clock on the wall ticked loudly. The cardboard cut out of The Flash creaked slightly as it swayed by the light breeze fluttering in through the cracked window. The tap in the kitchen sink was dripping. It was to much. He felt like he was going to go mad. He'd been sitting to long. He could feel his already rapid heart beat beginning to beat faster as he bounced his knee, his fingers digging into the folds of his jeans, his knuckles turning white. Just as he felt like he was going to burst, scream, jump up, run away, a steadying hand rested itself against his shoulder. He blinked, pulled back to reality. Glancing up he found the comforting presence of J'onn standing above him; standing where he'd been standing for the last twenty minutes, silently waiting for Wally to speak.

Wally swallowed and took a deep calming breath before offering a very small strained smile. The corners of the martian's orange eyes tilted upwards slightly and he removed his hand. Wally took another breath.

"It's not something that I really like to talk about. I mean, I spent most of my young adult life trying act like it didn't bother me, that it didn't matter." His voice broke slightly. "But... I guess it left some scars behind."

"Perhaps talking about it would make you feel better." J'onn stated simply, his thick martian accent tickling Wally's nerves pleasantly. J'onn may have been an alien, and a weird one at that, but he had this calming presence that the scarlet speedster was grateful for.

"Did Bat's send you cause I messed up?" He asked in a small voice, timidly looking up at the much taller man; who seemed even taller since Wally was sitting.

"No. Although I am sure that he is concerned. I came because you had an anxiety attack during a mission. You have acted strangely lately and due to recent events I must admit that I find myself concerned." J'onn's rather unreadable expression seemed to soften as his pupil-less orange eyes peered down at the much much younger man.

Wally found himself smiling genuinely as he scooted over and patted the cushion beside him. J'onn turned and sat down, still gazing intently at the other man. Wally shifted in his seat so that his back was to J'onn and he leaned up against the Martian's broad shoulder. He clasped his hands over his stomach and began twiddling his thumbs, weary eyes gazing at the corner of the ceiling; the corner where a daddy-long-leg had decided to make its home.

"I guess, I guess it all started about a month ago, when I got a call from my Aunt Iris. It had been awhile since we'd last talked, I feel weird going over there now since, well since Uncle Ber is gone. But she called, I'd just gotten off of Watch Tower duty, so it wasn't like I was doing anything." He sighed. "She told me that my mom as in the hospital."

"I've never heard you mention your mother." J'onn noted, the smallest amount of curiosity creeping into his voice. Wally nodded against his shoulder.

"That's cause I don't. Not often. You know that it's been years since I've seen her? My mom I mean. Not since my dad died. Of course, even then we only stood awkwardly side by side, never saying a word. She was crying. I wanted to hug her but... I just knew that it wouldn't be welcomed." Wally's voice grew quiet as he thought back to that day so long ago; the day that his father was buried.

"I take it that you and your mother aren't on the best of terms?" J'onn inquired, his own voice going very soft. Wally shook his head.

"No, never really have been. Growing up, I mostly spent time with Uncle Berry and Aunt Iris. When I was a kid, back in Blue Valley, I was a really big fan of The Flash. I wanted to grow up to be the Flash. I even started a Flash fan club." He said with a sad chuckle. "I was the only member. But, my folks thought my dreams were stupid, tried to tell me that there was no way I'd ever be the Flash. Tried to squash the enthusiasm out of me." Wally's voice grew a bit dark. "They were constantly yelling at me, telling me that I needed to get my head out of the clouds, and that I should strive to work at the plant dad worked at, and so on and so forth. I remember the first time I met Uncle Berry. We were at a family gathering and I spilled a bottle of soda, dad got so mad. He yelled at me and I just, I couldn't take it anymore. All the yelling, all the fighting, just because I wanted to be something better. I ended up just locking myself up in my room so I could just cry. That's when Uncle Berry showed up. He comforted me, told me that I should never give up on my dreams. He just, sat and talked with me. I'll never forget that day." Wally said with the faintest of faint smiles on his lips and a sparkle of tears in his eyes. God he missed Berry. If Berry were here, he'd know what to say. Know exactly what Wally should do. But he wasn't, and Wally had never felt more lost. "When I was ten, I finally got to meet my hero. We talked in Uncle Berry's lab for hours. I asked him all sorts of questions, it was amazing. I asked him how he'd gotten his powers, and when he told me I said that I wished that it would happen to me to. He laughed it off, it was a billion to one chance. But it happened." Wally said with an even bigger smile. "I don't know what it was, bad weather, dumb luck, or maybe the gods heard my prayers, but it happened. The same accident that turned my uncle into The Flash turned me into a speedster to."

"And that is when your career as a hero began?" J'onn asked. Wally chuckled.

"No, not really. I started out just like most young heroes, as a side kick. It was loads of fun. I got to work with Berry, got to learn all the tricks. It was cool. So yeah, I'd finally shown my parents up, even though they didn't know it was me who'd donned the super hero identity of Kid Flash." Wally shifted again, his cheek resting on the Martian's shoulder. "I went through a lot of crap back then. Being a speedster was no walk in the park. It was painful, I retired for a while. But..."

"But then your uncle died." J'onn finished. Wally nodded, closing his eyes tightly against the tears that were threatening to fall. He'd been trying not to cry, he hated crying; it always made him feel exhausted.

"Yeah. I couldn't just... stand back and do nothing. Someone had to take up the role." He sighed heavily. "So, childhood dream accomplished, I became the Flash. But I never made up with my parents. I don't hate them. I never really could hate them but... I know that they never really cared about me. That's why I just stayed away. But now... I mean, she's sick J'onn. She could be dying. What if... what if I don't get to say goodbye?" He asked sitting up and turning to look at the taller figure sitting on his sofa, the tears finally sliding down his cheeks. "What if we never make up? I mean, maybe we wouldn't, maybe its to late, but... shouldn't I try? What if I don't try?" His voice broke slightly. "I never got to say goodbye to my dad, never even knew he was sick. But..."

J'onn placed a hand on Wally's shoulder, squeezing gently. The young man just quietly sobbed, tears falling and staining his jeans, head bowed.

"If it is what 'you' need to do, than do it. Go see her. Do not worry what she may think, or say. Do not worry if she wants you there or not. You need to do what is best for you, and if that is going, saying your piece, than that is what you have to do."

Wally nodded, lifting his head and wiping his nose on his sleeve. He leaned forward and wrapped his arms around J'onn, who returned the hug with only the slightest bit of hesitation.

"Do I look okay?"

"You look fine sweety."

"You sure? Is my shirt straight?"

"Yes, no go on."

Mary West cocked a brow and tilted her head as the door to her hospital room eased open and a familiar yet unfamiliar red-head poked in. She blinked as he eased into the room, a small potted flower in hand. He was dressed in a white t-shirt and blue jeans, red converse covering his feet. His hair was sticking up slightly, looking a bit wind-swept. He awkwardly came to stop at the foot of her bed, slowly bouncing on the balls of his feet. She didn't say anything as she looked at him.

"Hi, uh, mom." He said awkwardly, his eyes roaming around the room before coming to rest on her. "I uh, I brought you a flower." He said with a small smile, glancing at the pink blossoms before looking back at her. "I didn't know uh, what kind you liked, but the lady at the shop said that this was hypoallergenic..." He set it down on the table tray before scratching the back of his neck. "I umn wasn't sure if you were allergic or not."

Mary reached out her hand, gesturing him forward. Wally blinked and got closer, leaning down slightly incase she wanted to say something. She lightly patted down his hair.

"Have you never heard of a hair brush?" She asked, her voice soft. Wally blinked, a slight blush tingeing his cheeks as he straightened up.

"Oh I uh... well you see I... Central City is well... uhmn..."

Mary smiled, her eyes crinkling slightly and she nodded.

"I know. You ran." She stated looking away before glancing back at him. "All the way from Central City?" She asked, her voice curious. Wally nodded. "How long did it take you?"

Wally shrugged.

"Not long. Maybe... oh, ten minutes? I had to stop for the flower."

Mary nodded.

"You should start carrying a comb in your pocket. Your uncle used to do that." She noted, and Wally smiled at the image. She gestured to the chair in the corner, and with a soft smile Wally went and retrieved it, sitting down by his mother's bedside to partake in the calmest conversation he'd ever shared with her.


End file.
